in case anyone was interested!  ;)

so I wanted to post the two songs I wrote this week, I already posted them on FB but in case FB ever crashed and i have no way of getting my songs back because i didnt write them down, i'm gonna put them here...

this song

This song won’t make you change your mind
This song’s been sung a million times
This song has been trashed and praised

I don’t know
I don’t know
I just don’t know any other way
To love you
But I know
Now I know
Yes I know that I’m crazy
‘Cause you told me
Eight seconds before
You told me to “get out”
And you slammed the door
Who knew
Who knew
This song is a domestic dispute

This song doesn’t have any lyrics
This song can’t make sense of how you feel
This song can’t tell you how I feel either
Right now
Right now
And this song hasn’t made me cry
Not yet
Not yet
This song won’t answer “how” or “why”

I don’t know
I don’t know
I just don’t know any other way
To love you
But I know
Now I know
Yes I know that I’m crazy
‘Cause you told me
Eight seconds before
You told me to “get out”
And you slammed the door
Who knew
Who knew
This song is a domestic dispute

You try
You try
To fall asleep
But this song
This song
Is gonna keep you
Up for an hour or two
And who knew
Who knew

I just don’t know any other way
To love you
But I know that I’m crazy
‘Cause I’m writing this song
And it hasn’t made me cry
Not yet
Not yet
This song 



The Selfish Song

I know you’re needy
And I don’t mind
Being your shoulder
I have two.
But there’s a line
And I don’t want to hurt you,
But, honey, it’s not always all about you.
And sometimes I just feel like screaming…

What about me?
How about giving me some attention?
No more disregard
I want more affection.
What about us?
I want all this to be sincere,
And I always want you to be here
Because sometimes I may need a shoulder too,
And I want it to belong to you.

If I comfort you
When you feel down and out
Will I get the same treatment later,
Or will I be told I’m wrong?
I want us to work so badly
And I want you to be happy,
But sometimes I get myself so wrapped up in you
That I forget…

What about me?
How about giving me some attention?
No more disregard
I want more affection.
What about us?
I want all this to be sincere,
And I always want you to be here
Because sometimes I may need a shoulder too,
And I want it to belong to you.

Oh I feel so selfish
Thinking that we’re both so helpless.
I know that you could do it on your own,
And I’m so glad I’m not alone,
Or 21 and still living at home,
And you must ask yourself sometimes…
“What about me?
How about giving me some attention?
No more disregard
I want more affection.”
And I just have to tell you how
You have turned my life around.
I can’t imagine giving everything I have
To anyone but you.

I know a good shoulder is hard to find
And if you need mine I don’t mind.
You’ll get all of my attention
And even more of my affection
And you’ll never be left asking
“What about me?”



so there they are. pretty much describing how my relationship is going - like a friggen see-saw! I never got the promotion I was hoping for at work. I have become addicted to "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" (which you can watch on youtube - the best quality ones I have found are posted by "dcl08" if you're interested). Peter and I are getting cell phones. they should be delivered either today or tomorrow. I called Rogers and got my cell phone number and Peter's is way effing better than mine - BOO-URNS! mine is 381-6839 and his is 381-6789. i told him if the delivery came to me i was gonna swap the smart cards and then 6789 would be my phone number. hahaha. i had to figure out a way to remember my number cuz its so crappy - i figured out it spells "mudy" which is close to "mandy" u just take out the "an" and put a "u"... im crazy! my sched at the moment is sun-mon's off 1pm - 9:30pm. this weekend I have sat, sun and mon off so hooray for a 3-day weekend. if i think of anything else I will attempt to post it. ciao babes!

I just thought I'd give a quick update, and also share this video http://youtube.com/watch?v=AHdHSmAuk-k   It's Raine Maida from Our Lady Peace and his solo project. He was raising money for War Child. Just watching it is overwhelming to see so much generosity at a time when sometimes it feels like we have forgotten how to care...

anyway, personally I'm pretty good. I had a really good time seeing eveyone at the Christmas party and all that. Wendy, u were so funny that nite! Yur always funny and sometimes I forget how funny u r... lolz. We so gotta hang out more. Should be easier now that your not in Smell-kona! ahahaha. I am doing very well at work. as u probly know I have switched departments and I LOVE offline. I get to write letter responses instead of taking calls (although they put us on the phones once in a while and it's actually kind of refreshing). I am the top representative on my team this month which I never would have thought would be possible, especially so shortly into the transition, like I have only been in offline for a couple months. Anyway, I'm happy with how it is going. 

This weekend we will be spending time with my family in Petrolia (and London and Sarnia). I hope to see some more friends that I haven't seen in a while. I finished Christmas shopping and wrapping. I am pretty excited about seeing ppl and stuff and am just in a happy spot at the moment. The only real beef I have about myself is that I haven't been eating well or feeling well lately. It even LOOKS like I have lost weight and I didnt need to at all.. I'm not sure if it is the shift I have at work or what? all i know is that I pretty much feel sick at every meal, either before or during (becauz i havent eaten in a few hours), ot after. I can;t remember a meal recently where I didn't feel sick at some point. My dad was diagnosed diabetic as well. I guess they also think there might be something clogging his heart (or something like that), his cholesterol is too high, and there is something wrong with his prostate. I'm hoping he'll be alright (of course). My mom said they are sending him to some specialists soon. Peter has shoulder surgery in February. that should be interesting...

I'm ready for our trip. I just need a skirt, a tan, and a bikini (and maybe a bikini WAX! Ooh-la-la!). less than a month away now. anyway, I gotta finish laundry and packing to stay in petrolia for a few days. Merry Christmas all! and Wendy, if yur not doing anything New Years, we should get together! :)

So here is an update for anybody who might be curious...  not sure why anyone would be, my life is not too terribly interesting these days, but I will attempt to suffice the hunger for anybody that may be looking for a fill-me-in.

So a couple weekends ago I spent the night in Windsor with Shannon. It wasnt too overwhelming I suppose. We just hung out talking, and watched a few movies. I saw a bit of the city, night and day. Very nice city it seems. I got lost going to Windsor, and coming back from Windsor, but navigating through Windsor wasn't too bad. I thought I was gunna get there fine and then get lost while in the city, but it was quite the opposite. It was a nice little get-away for me, and the car was well behaved! :D

I have been saving pretty good for our trip to Costa Rica. I am less than $100 away from booking the flights. We will likely have connecting flights in the U.S. and it will probably be an overnite flight, meaning we'll be sleeping in an airport on one of the connections. Not the most comfortable sleeping quarters, but I think it will be better than the alternative... our options were, take an afternoon flight on the Sunday and arrive that night, but we would be arriving late that night and paying for an extra night at the resort, or we could take an afternoon flight on the Sunday, take a connecting flight that doesn't leave until Monday morning, and arrive in Costa Rica on Monday afternoon, and our last option was to leave on the monday morning and get there on the monday night... I have chosen option 2. Basically, option 2 and 3 were less expensive, well option 1 and 2 gave us more time to spend IN Costa Rica. Option 2 seemed to have the best of both worlds, kinda like a compromise I suppose. Peter and I both still need to get our vaccinations. We had better get working on those.

Work is going okay. This Tuesday will be my one-year anniversary of when I started working at Star-Tek. I have a new supervisor, Mel. She is pretty nice. We have a team decorating contest. Each team was given a "music" theme and whoever decorates their bay best will win something. I don't know what the prize is, but our theme is AC-DC. I have done most of the decorating. I made a bunch of little lightning bolts and hung them up. I decorated our board to say "Team 42 is TNT, We're DYNAMITE", and I made a bunch of little "dynamite sticks" and put the names of each of the team members on one of the dynamite sticks. Then I made ou bay the "highway to hell" (thats an AC-DC song! lol). I put lines of tape down the center of our Bay to make it look like a raod ("highway"), adn then made a sign that says "HELL: Population 13" because there are 13 people on our team. Adam on our team brought in a bunch of old records and pud AC-DC on them and I hung them fashionable on the front of our Supervisor's desk. Adam also brought in an AC-DC poster to hang. so our bay is looking pretty cool. It's weird to think of me getting excited about work... ahahha.

Last night we finally had our baseball's party for winning first place in our division. It was fun (pics on facebook to prove it, and the pic attached to this update). Peter and I had a little talk though after I had a little freak-out after poker... I wasn't even playing, I was dealer (by choice). It's a long story, but basically Peter talked about how there is not really anything left here in Sarnia for him, and he wants to bring me with him but he is afraid that I will have those little freak-outs there too and stuff. After talking it out, it sounds like there is another possibility of us leaving for B.C. next summer. We both need to finish school first, and it has been a "possibility" a few other times before, but somehow if it ever happened, I don't think any of us will really be prepared for the day that it happens. We'll see.

Anyway, this was long. If you got this far, I applaud you. I'm off to do laundry. ciao.

wow, I can't believe it has been like 4 months since I posted. 

well of course I am still working at StarTek and hate it just as much as ever. They made everyone change shifts and then assigned us supervisors in accordance with new said shifts. I got Mel, which I suppose is a step up from Steve, because - no word of a lie - Steve is the worst supervisor of all time. my new shift has a start-window of 11:30am-12:30pm, so I work no later than 9, and I have Saturdays, Sundays off. Its ok except for transportation. I have been doing overtime just to get a ride home, and I have to take the bus there sometimes, which REALLY blows because the Exmouth busdriver is the worst one in Sarnia. such a bitch. In Octobe rI will have been at Startek for a year and they will give me 10 more FTOs (vacation days), which I am going to need, at least half i wil need for my trip in January. Plus I am out of E-days, so i might use a couple e-days between now and january, because in january i will also get 10 more e-days! 'nuff bout work...
planning for the trip has gotten me excited about it. I have over $1100 for it and need bout 1300-1500 by end of october to book flights. :D :D :D :D :D 
I don't know if there is much else to say. perhaps if i think about it, I will post more later. ciao for now

and our street is blocked off and there are like a million police officers. we asked a random dude what was goin on and he said that a dead body was found in a car in an alley way near us. CREEPY! just one more reason to get the eff up outta here.

..........................................................................
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and the cops definitely just came to our door and asked us crazy questions.   AHHHHHH DRAMA

facebook hass taken over and it is getting more and more difficult to remember to update this thing!!
So it was May 2-4 this weekend. It's not that I didn't have fun, it just wasn't as much fun as I remembered it. Maybe it was all the hype leading up to it, or the amount of drama, or the fact that iI'm not too fond of Chris, or that it was freezing cold, or that it used to be all friends I went up with, and now it's a buncha young'uns... who are cool for the most part, but it's not the same. so now it's 6:50am. i used to start at 6 and now they have me starting at 7, but pete still starts at 6 so i have to kill an hour every morning before i start. the worst part is that nothing is open at 6am. I got a hangnail on my baby toe this weekend and then it got infected and this morning i stubbed it on the bathroom door so it bled instantly cuz it was already wounded and it hurts like hell and I can barely walk. it's like all my balance is in that one toe. anyway, i should go get ready for my shift. may update again tomorrow as this was more of a rant than an update. ttylz

...stay tuned later tonite for pics!

so just a quick little update here...
Peter and I are moving out June 1 (and maybe the couple days leading up to June 1st as well). We were accepted into 880 Colborne. It's a good-sized apt, about a 20 min walk from work, right by the ALC, near a plaza (especially the best bakery in Sarnia), and Peter budgeted the move and hopefully it's not gunna be TO hard on our wallets (we at leasdt have enough to get by)
I'm working business care now at work. It's been about a month and I hate it. I have already had two breakdowns. (I'm such a loser). Today is my last noon shift, starting Monday I'll be working 11 hr shifts from 6am-5:30pm 4 days a week. (sunday, wednesday, thursday off). 
The nice weather is here - YAY! we got our baseball jerseys yesterday. we played last week and won one game, lost the other. 
That's all I really have for now. I am very excited for shopping/Red Room/girl day next Wednesday!    :D:D:D:D
ill ttyls

ok so I don't actually have very much time to complete this update as I have not had very much time to do anything lately. I am working 60hrs this week (started sunday, ending saturday), but I also did some overtime at the end of last week to make up for taking new years eve off. so here is what I worked recently:
fri 12hrs
sat 12hrs
sun 12 hrs
mon 4 hrs
tues 12hrs
and then...
today I work 12hrs
thurs i work 4 hrs
fri 12 hrs 
and sat 4 hrs

its pretty nuts.
doesnt help that I have been sick the whole time either. i have the worst cold of my life. my voice is starting to go so i dunno how long ill be able to keep up all the extra hrs because if i lose my voice, i cant really take phone calls...

the entire reason for all of this is because peter and i are getting a car in the next couple weeks... he took it to the shop this morning but we stil have to wait until we get insurance before either of us can drive it....

that kinda reminds me, how is yur lisence going wendy...?!?!

new thing: i guess my parents' neighbour across the street (the wolsey's) who are good friends with my mom and dad, suffered a bit of a tragedy this week. Rick was a pilot and I guess he crashed a plane in saskatchewan a few days ago... it was a crash landing so everyone on board was safe but he stumbled out of the plane and then collapsed of a heart attack. its pretty weird to me, its like a freak accident or something. just thought I would share...

anyway, that is all I really have time for I gotta go get ready for work.

fyi, Wendy --- it was me that came into FP on Monday :)

laterzzzzzzzzzzz

HAPPY 
NEW
YEAR!!!

:)

ahahaha math is a subject! maaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahaha! :D

anyway. wendy yelled at me in bold letters demanding that I update so I must comply to the boldness of the letters of the words... *shifty eyes*

ok so xmas was alright - escaped with minor amounts of tragedy.

of course Peter spoiled me... not only did I get the digicam but on top of that I got Billy Madison on dvd, slippers (which I have asked for every year for the past 3 xmas's and only just got them this year!!!!), gorgeous earrings from Ben Moss and the most adorable card that reads as follows:
(front)
Christmas lights are bright...
Gingerbread is spicy...
Candy Canes are sweet...
icicles are icy...
Santa Claus is chubby...
and jolly as can be...
(inside)
but what makes Christmas perfect
is having you with me! ***melts*** :D
(then in his own writing it says..)
"thank you for a wonderful year and I hope many more like it. <3 Peter"

:D awwwww so cute! lol

anyhooooooo.....

also for christmas we received a webcam, $20 gift card for Food Basics, and a poker set. I myself received also an adorable stuffed moose, some Toronto Maple leafs stuff including a deck of cards and a pair of gloves, I also got lottery tickets, and of course candy and chocolate also 2 $25 g/c's for la senza (making $50 in total for u mathletes), and my best gift of all, when I went to spend my g/c's at la senza, I found out I am officially a B cup! :D lol I got 2 bras including one that has penguins on it and a green "teddy" which is like a really short dress that u wear to bed, and it's silky! :D

and when I say we escaped with "minor tragedies" what I mean is that my sister hit a truck... there were a lot of vehicles on our street xmas morning and candace backed out of the driveway and into a truck. (lol) she found the guy who's truck it was and he said not to worry about it becuz it is an old beat up truck anyway..... oh candace.. such a bad driver! lol.

Peter and I are now setting up a savings account and making plans to move out west in 2008. It's still a long time away I think, but all his friends are already excited that he is coming back. That is the only thing I really worry about - we go to BC and he may hang out with all his friends all the time and I won't know anybody and it will be awkward. Hopefully by then I will be more mature - better behaved an attain friends a little more easily. I am quite a bit of drama and sometimes I can be a little rambunctious and also high maintenance which I have come to realize that my current friends accept me this way, but it is no way to be when making new ones.

here's a funny commercial I saw today that totally made me roflmao!!!......

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OXl0nTjcrzs

laterzzzzzzz all (by which I mean "both")

ok so excellent story.... on saturday nite i went out with the boys. we went to McArthy's aka "Chicken in the Rough" and every Saturday there is a draw and apparently they always get a girl to do it and becuz i was the only girl there they asked me to do the draw. the owner of the bar told me to get up on the bar (FOR REAL!!) to pick out the name. I FELT LIKE COYOTE UGLY!!! and i was a little tipsy so it was awesome!!!! :)

there has been very little snow this december, I have a song/poem in progress aboout it. Peter and I have company right now though, so I'll finish and post my poem later!

ciao girlies! muah

Wendy & Jess, I left this video message 4 y'all! Enjoy!

http://s82.photobucket.com/albums/j241/emeraldrealm/?action=view¤t=beingsilly12092006.flv

<3 Mandy :)

This past week has been an interesting one...

wedding was awesome. so much fun. caught the bouquet, danced with some hotties, had a couple civil conversations with Dale for the first time in a very long time, got to see some people I haven't seen for a while, and it was just over all a great time!

...but with the good times also comes some bad...

my girl time has lasted way longer than it should --- especially considering I am on the pill. It came a week early (lasted thru the wedding [grrr]), and today is day 13. :(

also, yesterday at work I was tryng my best to understand what this guy wanted me to do for him, and I did what I thought what I was being asked to... and when i repeated back to him what i did he said "I'm going to kill you!" I replied with "pardon" and he said it again. I said "alright, I'm really sorry, do u mind if i place u on hold 2-3 mins while I try to fix it?" and he said "ok" so i put him on a hold and went to grab a supervisor. I told a supervisor and a Ashley (one of the quality specialists) who were both in the same place, and as i was telling them I just started crying. All this guy's info was still on my screen and he was still on hold - and Ashley hung up on him for me and wrote down all his info and said she was gunna give it to someone higher up or something. they told me to take a bit of a break - go outside take a breather. Peter heard about what happened and came and found me outside and we went for a walk. I VTO'd (took some extra time off) before/after my scheduled lunch and left work early at the end of the day. hopefully I won't be too traumatized. it had me pretty upset. oh well. whatever i guess.

looking forward to the weekend...!!

hey Wendy....


what are the odds that we are going to get a lj entry from jess in the next couple days...?!!?! ;) ;) ;)

lol

ok so it's been forever since i even looked in lj! ahaha.

so i been working at star tek. it's not SO bad. Im sure i could do worse and it pays the bills!

I took my dress to Balletts to be steamed this week! im getting excited about the wedding, except all those bridal showers. all those women...!! i dont think i could evr be a lesbian. women are complicated and dramatic and pissy. lol

Peter did the sweetest thing ever! when i came home from one of the bridal showers, there was a cute little christmas tree on one of the stereos (on the floor it would probly go a little bit past my knee), and there was a present underneath it (such an "awwwwwww" moment!). he had told me on the phone earlier that day that there would be "something different about the apartment" and that i was "not to touch it until (he) got home". he said he should be home round midnite. 12 came round and he wasnt here so i went to bed. at 3am he came up wasted and woke me up and said "YOU GOTTA OPEN YOUR PRESENT!!" i was like, "NOW..?!?!!?!?" (lol). and he said "yeah, i just won 70 bucks at poker tonite, im on a roll, u gotta open yur present" so i was like, "fine!". so i got up and got the present and there was a little one attached to a big one. so i opened the little one first and it was a ring box. i opened it up and there was a little note inside it that said:

"I really wanted to give u a ring :(; however this xmas on remembrance day had to be due to circumstance. I hope you enjoy. open the box. <3 Peter."

So then I opened the big box, and it was a brand new sweet ass digital camera!! he knew I wanted a good camera to take pics with at the wedding so he got it for me as an early xmas present!! How sweet is that! :) the camera is like 7.4 mpixels and it takes video and stuff. its very very cool! and it was the cutest thing ever.. he even bought a little xmas tree. so adorable!

ok im done gushing now!

so i really need to go do some dishes and then take a shower and go to work, so ill write back when i have something more to talk about! :)

I had a dream last night and it totally reminded me of this song...

"Someday" - Nickelback
How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

[Solo]

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when


just wanted to post it so i would remember it later on..

here are some photos from the shower yesterday! enjoy!

I wrote another poem. oops! ;)

"Don't Get Me Started..."

What you don't know
No, it won't kill you,
Not until you find out
Everybody else knew.

Story, drama, life
Feeling only non-fiction.
Grace, hope, faith, truth
Nothing can be written.

So not fair to need
So uneasy just to trust.
Keep looking for sense in dollars
Keep looking for love inside of lust.

Matters of the head
Leave us lonely and confused.
Matters of the heart
Leave us broken and abused.

Politics, religion
Speak not of what you believe,
For someone will become offended
Just stay quiet and naive.

What becomes of our lies
But sadness, hurt and pain?
Are we learning anything new
Or just doing it all again?

Morals don't solve anything
If our morals aren't the same.
Fun is one percent of our lives
The rest is just a game.